Nostalgia and Knicknacks

 Today is a hard day for me. The home that I grew up in, brought my son home from the hospital to and the last place I saw my mom alive at is now gone. My dad signed the papers today and that is that. Over, finito, the end. Over the last two weeks I have been packing, sorting, pitching and selling most of the things from that house.But the one thing that I have and will always have is the memories. Memories of Sunday dinners with family and friends, memories of haunted houses in the basement, New Years open houses, birthday celebrations and times with family grieving loved ones. Many, many memories that are just flooding my spirit today.

  Last night I played the piano! I have my piano in my home that my dad bought me for my 12th birthday in 1975. It is a beautiful maple Ballwin Acrosonic piano and I can now teach my daughters' to play. Sitting on the bench, playing last night I realized I missed that part of me for the last several years. I am so happy I decided to keep it. Good decision me! Even my daughter's puppy likes hearing the piano. I also kept my grandmothers china and the picture that hung over the piano. I made boxes for all three of my kids and spent time with one of my best friends who I had been missing in my life.

  It was the hardest week and also a good week. I realized I had not been honoring my husband and giving him the value and respect he deserved but watching him work and seeing what he was capable of made me appreciate him so much more. I really married an amazing man who has seen me through some rough times. I also realized I was pretty mad at God.  I couldn't believe that here I was six years after doing the same thing with my mom's house doing it all over again with my dad's house. I thought the timing was horrible and I just didn't understand. But as He always does, He taught me that His timing is perfect and He restored my respect and love for my husband.

 I have so many stories I wish I could share but I am going to end this here with a thought. Sometimes we put to much value on things and forget the value of the people we love. I learned this lesson again this week as I had to decide what knicknacks to keep and what to sell. I realized I was grateful that I didn't have to do that with my family and friends. That I needed to value each and every one for who they are. The only thing that gives us any reason to be nostalgic isn't the knicknackss but the memories we make.The one thing I know I will keep is the memories I have from that house and all of my friends and family who have gone through those doors. And every time I think of 1322 West Glenn  those memories will be with me always.

A stormy night~A thankful heart

I can't sleep. I have so many things to be thankful for but I can't sleep. I have been lying in bed listening to the storm and thanking God for the rain. This got me thinking about being grateful, truly grateful, and thanking God through all of my storms so here I am getting ready to do just that. So I guess I start with thanking Him for my divorce which was my first major storm. I have learned so much since then and still have so much to learn. Next major storm was my g'ma and then my mom dying less than a month a part. Thank you God for that storm and the people you placed in my life to help me through it. After that I lost my job and I am able to thank God for that and see that He was always in control. Next came my cancer diagnosis and I have to thank Him for that wake up call and how it changed the way I look at life. My next storm was another job loss, but this one cut deep. I not only lost my job, my daughter's lost their school. I was so angry at God. I wanted to know why it happened when I was so faithfully praying for it not to happen. Well guess what? It isn't about what I wanted to happen, it is about what God knew was best for me. I took another position at another Christian school with much hesitation and it seemed like I was right because yep, you guessed it, that school closed too and again my oldest daughter was without a school and her faith had taken a beating. I wasn't sure either one of us would ever be okay again.But a new school rose from the ashes and I was offered a teaching position there and it was going to be great and my daughter would have her senior year. Well August of last year I was told there were not enough kids to hire me and that Gretchen could attend but I would not be working there. I was finished after that storm, no more teaching and no more God as far I was concerned. I was going to sit down and throw myself the biggest pity party ever and never work again. That lasted about four months.

Just when YOU think you have it all figured out, God mixes things up. I had reconnected with an old junior high friend on facebook and through some circumstances that had to have been God ordered I started working again in January. I wasn't working as a teacher, I was selling furniture. I couldn't believe it, first that I actually got the job and second that I liked it. My mom was a teacher and my dad was a salesman so I guess you could say it was time to embrace the dad side of me. lol Once again I found myself thinking I should thank God for this and once again I didn't. Part of what kept me sane while I was going through the last two years was a prayer group I am in at my church. We only meet once a month, but I know the support, encouragement and dare I say it PRAYER I get from being part of that group has helped me on numerous occasions. I am getting ready to enter another storm and I think this is why I can't sleep. When I was on the way to my son's wedding my dad and my brother listed my dad's house for sale. I didn't know he was going to do it and I wasn't prepared for what would happen next. The house sold in two days and I have until the end of this month to clear it out. So many memories in that house, this is going to be a rough storm. But I am going to thank God now for the people who will help me get through this one. I have resolved that my life is going to be full of storms but I am so thankful that He teaches me through all of them.

I need to remember that God is sovereign and that everything will be okay.