Flower Fairies and Faith

Today my daughter and her boyfriend drove to Springfield Illinois. The purpose of their trip was to pack up some things Gretchen wanted from my childhood home. This is the house that I came home from the hospital to and this is the house that was sold this week. The house of my childhood and all of my childhood memories. This is the house that I brought my son home from the hospital to and the house where I last heard my moms laughter. So many memories in that house.

I remember playing the piano for mom that Monday after Easter over ten years ago. I remember her sitting in the comfy chair and Patrick playing the guitar for her. That was the last time I would hear my mom laugh. Every time I walk in the door to that house I remember the life that was lived there and now in a month I won't walk through that door again.

We have a month to get everything out that we want and to make it ready for the the new buyers. On month to pack up a lifetime of memories. One of the things Gretchen brought back today was a Flower Fairy plate. When I looked at the plate I couldn't believe it. The little fairy looked like Hannah before she had her hair cut this summer for locks of love. I have no idea when my mom bought this plate or why but I am so glad she did. I wonder if she knew my family wasn't finished, I would like to think she did know. She knew she was getting a granddaughter that she had prayed for when my brother told her they were expecting a baby in September and I know she wanted to live to see that baby but God had other plans.

So you are probably wondering where the faith part of this blog comes from. Well, it is all I am holding onto right now. I have faith that God is going to work everything out so that this is a smooth move and that I will find all the things I hold dear and bring them home to my house. I have faith that even though this wasn't what I wanted to be doing this month, God knew it was what I would be doing. I have faith that Gretchen finding that plate tucked away in a drawer was no accident.I have faith that I will see my mom again one day and that I honor her memory by keeping things that are precious to me because they were precious to her.

So dear friends please pray for me as I pack up my childhood home. This will be an emotional time for me but one filled with new discoveries and special finds like the plate pictured above. Pray I can finish the race in the time I have allotted to me. Pray for my children as this is an emotional time for them as well. Gretchen said it was hard packing up boxes today but she is thankful for the memories. Flower Fairies and Faith, she knew I know she did. :)

The Wedding Day July 20, 2012

We all slept in today. Hannah slept until 10:30 and she is normally our little alarm clock. So we missed breakfast at the hotel. Right down the street from the hotel was a Cinnabon and I knew that was what we needed to start off my son's wedding day. After a yummy cinnamon roll it was time to wait. We really didn't have anything planned for the day so we just hung out in the hotel room.

I decided to surprise Stephen and I booked him a suite for the night complete with a whirlpool tub and champagne. I was happy to be able to do this for him as an extra wedding gift. Gretchen and Aaron spent the day with a marathon of netflix watching while we waited and Hannah watched television and colored pictures. Patrick read and listened to music and I was an emotional wreck. We had a family meltdown about two hours before we were ready to leave but we managed to work through it. There were circumstances out of my control happening outside of Texas that were affecting my family and causing me some heart ache and so I prayed and asked for prayer.

We all got gussied up and we didn't look half bad if I say so myself. Gretchen looked beautiful and Hannah looked so sweet in her flower girl dress. It was hard for me not to cry and we weren't even there yet. We all decided we were hungry so we went to Taco Bueno and had a small snack before heading to the ceremony. When we got to the chapel on the ranch the wind started blowing and the clouds began to move in and it looked like a storm was coming.

One of my best friends since college drove from Chicago to be there and it was good seeing her. We both prayed the rain would hold off until the reception. I was able to pray with Stephen before the ceremony and that meant the world to me. Since the wedding was on a ranch one of the neat things was that Meagan and her folks rode in a horse drawn carriage and everyone was able to see them as they passed by the big picture window in the chapel. She looked so beautiful that she took my breath away and I prayed that when Stephen saw her that he wouldn't pass out. lol

The first part of the service was when the mothers lit the candles for the unity candle and I walked down the aisle with Meagan's mom. This was a special time for me and I am so glad they included it in their ceremony. After we lit the candles I took a seat with Patrick and we watched as the wedding party entered the chapel. As Meagan came in I watched Stephen's face and I have never seen him both so terrified and happy in his life. It was a beautiful ceremony and I only cried at the end when they kissed.

After the wedding we took pictures and then headed over to the reception. Meagan and her mom and a few others had made all of the food and it looked very professional. The decorations at the reception were beautiful and Meagan and Stephen arrived on a horse drawn carriage. It was all like out of a storybook. The best man made his toast and the matron of honor made her toast and then the cake was cut. Stephen and Meagan's dance was cute and Meagan danced with her dad. We decided to skip the mother son dance because I would have been a crying momma if we had done it.

The groomsmen all went outside to smoke a pipe in celebration of the nuptials. Meanwhile inside the reception Hannah had discovered the camera and was taking pictures of everything and everyone. It was pretty funny. She was like an eight year old paparazzi. lol It started getting late and we had a long drive on Saturday so I hugged my new daughter bye and kissed my son on the cheek and we left. It was a perfect wedding and I was so happy for him. Now back to the hotel to sleep.

Wedding Memories Day 2

This morning woke up and had breakfast with Meagan and Stephen at the hotel. Then it was off to Dinosaur World with Hannah. Patrick, Gretchen and Aaron stayed back and slept in because they hadn't slept well the night before. (I think they just didn't want to be out in the heat) lol

We arrived at Dinosaur World and Hannah was very excited when she saw the life size T-Rex at the entrance. After I bought out tickets we toured the museum which had several interesting fossil pieces on display. There were three replica dinosaur skeletons inside the museum that were huge. After we toured the museum Hannah dug for her own fossils at the fossil dig and she was allowed to keep 3 of her favorite. Next it was time to see all of the dinosaurs.

Walking through the park we encountered many life size dinosaurs. I took some pictures on my phone and Hannah had a blast. It. was. hot. I think it was so hot that our eyelids were sweating. lol One of the most life like scenes was a family of long necks surrounding a small lake. We stood on the dock and fed the poi fish and it looked like the family of dinosaurs was coming for a drink. About this time Hannah was saying I am hot please lets get to the end, only not so nice it was more like "I want to leave now, let's just go please lets leave I have seen enough I am hot." So we headed back to the main entrance and the gift shop. Those of you with kids know what the next few minutes were like. "Can I have it, please let me have it, I need this dinosaur egg and this stuffed dinosaur, please mom." We settled on a keepsake box where she could put her fossils from the dig and a couple of postcards, she also got a souvenir penny with dinosaur world on it.

Back at the hotel I took a little nap due to being in the heat and Patrick took Hannah to the pool. Gretchen and Aaron went off for a bit to explore, have lunch and buy tickets to "The Dark Knight Rises" compliments of me. :) There was a little theater in Granbury Texas and the tickets were only $7 each which is super cheap. They were planning on going to the midnight showing after the rehearsal dinner.

We all got ready for the rehearsal dinner and headed out. When we got to the venue it was still very hot. The restaurant put us in a courtyard outside and I was really worried that it wouldn't work. It looked great with the lights and the tables and the waterfall so I was hoping for the best. Sure enough as the sun went down we were able to stay and have a great dinner. Everyone seemed to have a good time and the food was awesome. I was very pleased. The most important thing was for Stephen and Meagan to have fun and I know they did. Brandon, the best man made a toast and so did Meagan's dad Clyde. I bought a book and passed it around for everyone to sign and put some advice in for Meagan and Stephen. All in all it was a very good evening.

We went back to the hotel and crashed for the night. I am so thankful that Aaron and Gretchen were able to be safe as they watched the movie. I couldn't believe what I saw on the news the next morning about the shooting in Colorado. Being in a little town in Texas was not such a bad place to be. I prayed for all of the families involved in the shooting and thanked God for the safety of my family.

My son is getting married! Wait he is still ten!

Written on July 17, 2012 

Today I am on the road  to Texas. Four years ago Stephen left for Texas and I told him "If I know you son, you are going to marry a girl from Texas." Well it looks like his mom was right. The reason I am on the road is to go to my son's wedding. So many things are going through my head right now. I hope I taught him what he needs to know. I hope he knows that I love him. Even though I didn't stay married to his birth dad, I hope he knows I believe in marriage. (I have been married to his step-dad for fifteen years this year).

When I think of who Stephen is as a man it reminds me of all the people who had a part in his life. I guess I am writing this note to thank them. Two women had a big part in Stephen's life when he was little and I count them as two of my best friends. Thank you Tammy and Kass for putting up with my goofy, crazy kid. Thanks for loving him and helping him through the rough time of my separation and divorce. Thanks for still being an encouragement in his life even now. I am so thankful that you will be at the wedding Tammy and I wish you could be there Kass. I know you will be in spirit.

Thinking back to Stephen's Concord church days there were several guys who mentored him and showed him you can be cool, have fun and love Christ. Tim Hall, Jeremy Proemsey, Scott Wheeler, Tim Weber all of you guys helped Stephen grow as a young man. Thanks to your leadership and direction Stephen chose a life of faith and skipped the partying and promiscuity. I appreciate all of the retreats and times that you held him accountable and taught him truth. 

The two years that Stephen was at South Side Christian school there were teachers that poured into him and helped him to develop academically as well as spiritually. Through various retreats and activities, programs and classroom learning Stephen started to grow into the young man God was calling him to be.Thank you to Patrick Tuller, Joni Leiniger,  Teresa Starks,  Karen Hunt, Arlie Singleton, Larry Amen and can't forget Mary Yousef for leading our motley crew. lol

Then after a really rough time of loosing his great grandma and his grandma Stephen, Gretchen and I made a choice to go to Illinois and become part of Collinsville Christian Academy. This was a place that grew Stephen as an athlete, scholar and a young man of God. There Stephen found great teachers and coaches, people who cared about his physical as well as spiritual well being. Thank you to Stephen Perkins, Rich Kotras ,Nathaniel Kotras, Donna Kotras, Cindy Collier, Trudy Hotson,Wendy Klein, Donald Douglas, and Debbie Legters. You were all a huge part of his junior high and high school life. So many memories of soccer games and concerts and everything in between. 

Gretchen, what can I say. This is your big brother's wedding you are going to be in on Friday. I am sure you have a lot you want to tell him as well. I know you love your brother fiercly and that you are pleased with his choice. I know you want whats best for him and that you will always be there for him even if he is driving you crazy. Thanks for being a great sister.

My little boy is getting married. I still can't believe it. I am so thankful for the woman he has chosen to make his wife. I remember when I first saw her picture on facebook that something in me knew that she would marry my son. There story is not one out of a storybook and it is filled with hard times as well as good times. I remember telling my seventh grade class that this was the girl my son  would marry as they looked at pictures with me. Thank you Meagan for loving my son, for helping him come out of a very dark place and for believing in him. Thank you for always pushing him to be a better man. I appreciate you faith and your love. Welcome to our family darling daughter.

Wedding memories Day 1

Today I woke up rested after eight hours of sleep. Gretchen said sleeping in a room with her dad and I was like listening to a snoring symphony. I guess we were tired after our long drive. She said between us snoring and Hannah kicking she didn't sleep very well.  Our day started off with waffles shaped like the state of Texas~ yee haw   Yes, the hotel we are staying at has a waffle maker that is shaped like Texas. After breakfast we hung out in the hotel room and rested some more from our travels.

Next was the rehearsal at the Whispering Creek Ranch. As we were driving through the country to get to the ranch I noticed lots of cattle ranches along the way and a beautiful blue sky with amazing clouds. When we got to the ranch and got out of the van there were grasshoppers everywhere. This did not thrill Gretchen at all and she moved quickly into the chapel. lol The rehearsal went well and I was able to meet Meagan's mom and step-dad. The chapel was very pretty with yellow flowers decorating the pews and a beautiful picture window overlooking the prairie.The bridal party seemed to get along well and that is always a good thing.

We were all getting pretty hungry and decided on lunch at Schlotzkys. :) I have to say this is one of my favorite places to eat and I wish we had one in St. Louis. A trip to Walmart for some art supplies, a huge beach ball and some snacks and then back to the hotel for Patrick and Hannah so they could nap. My afternoon was spent with Gretchen and Aaron finding Aaron a vest and nice dress shirt. We drove in to Fort Worth and met a wonderful sales lady at Macy's who helped us out and gave us a great deal. After shopping I bought Aaron and Gretchen Chick-Fil-A and we went back to the hotel. Stephen, Meagan, Brandon and his wife Chelsea, and Brett came over and ate pizza and hung out in the hotel pool with my girls and Aaron. While the kids went swimming at the hotel, it was date night at Hoffbrau's Steak house. I had a fried green tomato BLT and it was yummo! Our waitress even sent us back to the hotel with a big order of complimentary homemade banana pudding that was like my aunt used to make at family reunions.

I find myself missing my mom a lot right now. I know she would have been proud of Stephen and would have loved to watch her grandson wed the love of his life. Maybe somehow she is watching and smiling down on all of us. Time for bed to prepare for another busy day tomorrow.